Alive Parents

Thanksgiving. It always feels like Thanksgiving gets here at just the right time. Halloween is kind of annoying, and Christmas, while I love it, always seems so busy. But Thanksgiving is like a faithful friend; it shows up right when you need it to, it doesn't need a lot of hoopla, and when it's over, you always feel re-charged.

Tradition holds (by tradition, I mean Google) that the first Thanksgiving festival was held in New England in 1621, when, after surviving the harsh New England winter and reaping a bountiful summer harvest thanks to the help of the local Indians, the pilgrims and Indians got together for a 3 day feast. Pilgrim, Edward Winslow (who knew Eddie Winslow was a pilgrim before he was Urkel's brother?), in reminiscing on that first Thanksgiving, said, "And although it be not always so plentiful as it was at this time with us, yet BY THE GOODNESS OF GOD WE ARE… FAR FROM WANT.”

I have experienced times in my life that have seemed more or less plentiful than at other times. I've experienced great joy watching my kids laughing and have success. I've watched students as the lightbulb clicks on in their head about who God is and who they are in response. At other times, I've seen families struggle through the brink of financial failure. I've watched from too far a distance as my dad struggles with a debilitating disease that occupies every minute of both his and my mom's lives. In all of these things, BY THE GOODNESS OF GOD, I'M FAR FROM WANT!

The apostle Paul, in his letter to the Christians in Rome, lays out the case against us as sinners, who have said in our hearts that we trust ourselves more than we trust God and our actions have followed suit. Then, rich with hope, Paul describes how, through Christ, we have been set free from the penalty of the law and been given the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus, having the hope that though we still have trials in this world, we are not of this world. We have been adopted as sons and daughters and are heirs with Christ. After having said all of these things, Paul reaches his crescendo, declaring, "What shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him, graciously give us all things?…Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?…No, in all of these things we are MORE than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor ANYTHING ELSE IN ALL CREATION, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (ESV, emphasis is mine).

Happy Thanksgiving. By the goodness of God, I'm far from want!

Have you ever seen the movie, Ms. Doubtfire?  It's about an out-of-work dad, played by Robin Williams, who dresses up as a elderly female house-keeper so he can spend time with his children after he and his wife separate.  There is a great scene at the end of the movie where he gets caught having to go back and forth to change between his real self and his Ms. Doubtfire character while he simultaneously eats dinner with his family (as Ms. Doubtfire), and interviews for a job with a TV station manager (as himself).  It's a hilarious but chaotic scene. Sometimes it reminds me of the way I see students and families deal with the busyness of our culture too.  

Most families I know are jumping from one place to the next in order to fulfill all of the obligations on their schedule.  We used to talk about people having time for three places in life: work (or school), home, and a third place.  Now, it's off to school, then work, then sports, then church, then meetings for one great cause or another.  It seems we now have five places and multiple opportunities for each.  Sometimes it feels like life is American Idol, our kids are the stars, and the parents are the chauffeurs and managers.  Here are a few questions I have about how busy we all seem to be…

1. Are we expecting responsibility in too many arenas, too soon from our students?  Where does good time management skills stop and plate-spinning start?  Did you know that adolescent brain development research shows that teenagers are not as capable of multi-tasking effectively as we have previously thought?

2. When we realize we can't sustain the 5 places mentioned above in our lives, is Sunday mornings really the best place to start cutting back?  What are the consequences of cutting biblical community from our lives, and when did church become and add-on instead of a priority?

3. Are the more opportunities that our students have now meaningful enough to foster maturity or are we just creating a bunch of experience rich but relationally poor kids?  If the opportunity isn't meaningful, isn't it clutter?

What if…

* We helped students learn to say no to good opportunities and to prioritize the best ones?

* We encouraged them, challenged them, and required them to finish the things they started?

* We made Sunday mornings (corporate & small group) a non-negotiable part of the weekly calendar?

* We encouraged meaningful opportunity and gave them the means to take advantage of them? (a great thing to do is to save now to provide an opportunity for you and your student to go an overseas mission trip)

What do you think?

We have started a new series on Wednesday nights for the month of November called Facebook Official.  Most students learn how to have a dating relationship by watching other students have dating relationships.  That's almost as successful as watching the Chicago Cubs to learn how to win the World Series; it's just not a great example.  God's word has a lot to say about relationships with the opposite sex.  Here are a few questions we asked our students this past Wednesday and a few more that we put online to encourage them to think biblically about why, when, and how's of dating.  If you don't currently have a running dialogue with your student about dating, or the one you have involves yelling and gnashing of teeth, take a moment to look over these questions.  Everybody needs a good place to start.  Here's one for your family...

1. Is my relationship with God the first relationship in my life right now? (if it's not, it defintely won't be when you are in a dating relationship with someone else)

2. Is the person I'm thinking about dating a Christian? (because if not, that's a deal-breaker. It only ends in compromise or hurt and it directly disobeys God)

3. Have I thought about the qualities of the kind of person that I want to marry?

4. Have I spent enough time with this person to know whether he or she posseses those qualities in their life?

5. Have I sought out godly wisdom from my parents or another wise and trusted person in my life?

6. Have I thought about what the end goal of this relationship will be?

7. Have I established convictions and boundaries for my dating relationship that will help us remain pure in the places we go and the things we think about, say, and do with one another?

8. Do he/she and I have the same expectations for this relationship?

9. Am I emotionally grown up enough to handle a mature dating relationship? (not one like you see a lot of your friends in at school - that's not the kind of relationship you are pursuing. You might need to ask a godly adult who knows you really well to help you answer that question).

10. If you are a guy, have you talked to her dad (or her mom if her dad is not in the picture? - I know that's kinda old school, but it's still the right thing to do. If you were a guy asking my daughter out, the first time I hear about it better be from you and not her!)

I love Youth Camp and I look forward to it every year.  Some of my best student ministry memories happened at camp.  I remember waking up one night to the sound of the kid in the bunk bed next to mine being saran-wrapped to his bunk bed, and the 65 year old counselor across from me laughing when he woke up and saw what was going on.  One year, all of our guys took every mattress off of the dorm beds and created a "soft floor" in the common room so no one would get hurt in what turned out to be the greatest non-sanctioned professional wrestling match ever.

There were some powerful moments too.  I remember the 3 hour worship time where the Spirit of God broke into our lives and met our students in a way I had not experienced before.  I remember our 12th grade guys asking for a list of names of all of the students at camp (around 350) and praying individually for each of them during their free time one afternoon.

Camp can be one of the most significant weeks in a students spiritual journey.  If you have been debating about whether or not to sign up your student, here are a few great reasons to get them to AliveWeek this summer. 

• It’s Focused time to connect with God.  Your students are so busy, running from school, to practice, to church, to homework, to project meetings, to jobs, to bed.  It's not often that a middle or high school student gets to invest 5 consecutive days away from the busyness of life to focus on the Gospel of Christ, who He is in their life, and where is He leading them.  Every spiritual journey has mile-marker moments where God shows up and makes a big impact.  Camp is often one of those moments.

• It’s a great opportunity to build current friendships and make new ones.  There is something about getting to live life with people in a crazy, fun, and exhausting environment that bonds students together and builds memories.  If your student has a difficult time connecting, camp can help build those friendships that may or may not be built on a Sunday or Wednesday.

• It’s a great chance for students to spend time with students a few years older than them who are living out their faith in Christ.  Many of our small group leaders at camp are college students who have exciting and growing relationships with Christ.  When Middle and High School students see students a few years past them who are excited about Christ, the excitement becomes contagious and following Jesus doesn’t seem so impossible anymore.

• It’s a great chance for students to lead and be involved.  There are so many things that happen at camp that provide the opportunity for students to be stretched by leading.  Whether it’s part of rec and they are helping lead their group to victory or   they are leading from the stage with prayer or a testimony, students will learn that they can lead and God shows up to help them.

• It’s FUN!  Let’s be honest, when else does a student get an entire waterpark to themselves and a group of their friends?  Or how often do they get to “tube the hooch” with 150 of their friends?  They will get to dress like they are from a different decade and go to the best dance party of the year.  They will dress like old people and participate in an ultra-competitive game of bingo.  They will eat every meal together, ride buses together, play games together, worship together, be challenged with God’s word together, laugh, smile, run, scream, pray and so much more together. 

Now you want to go too, don’t you. 

AliveWeek camp is June 13th-17th in Helen, GA.  To register your student, visit www.aliveweek.com today.